Signed in as:
filler@godaddy.com
April 13, 2025
Confidence is Built, Not Born
Let’s get one thing straight — nobody pops out of the womb dripping in confidence.
Nobody.
Not Beyoncé. Not Oprah. Not the polished speaker with perfect stage presence. Not the bold entrepreneur who seems fearless online. Not even that one friend who can walk into any room and own it like they were born to be there.
Despite what Instagram reels, TED Talks, or carefully curated highlight reels might have you believe, confidence isn’t something you’re magically born with.
It’s not written in your DNA. It’s not handed to you at birth. And it’s definitely not reserved for some exclusive VIP club of people who “just have it.”
Truth bomb? Confidence isn’t a personality trait. It’s a skill. A learned skill. A practiced skill. A built skill.
Confidence doesn’t show up fully formed — it’s built over time. Brick by brick. Choice by choice. Moment by moment. It’s crafted in quiet rooms where nobody sees you practicing that presentation for the tenth time in the mirror. It’s forged in awkward conversations where you stumble over your words, feel your face flush with embarrassment, and then... choose to show up again anyway. It’s shaped in the sweaty palms, the racing heart, and the terrifying first steps into something completely unknown — when every part of you wants to run, but your soul whispers, stay.
Confidence is not born in comfort. It’s born in courage. It grows every time you do the thing you once thought you couldn’t do. Every boundary you set. Every truth you speak. Every risk you take. Every moment you choose yourself — especially when it would be easier not to.
That’s how confidence is built.
And here’s what nobody tells you: The people you admire for their confidence? The ones who seem like they were always that bold, that radiant, that sure of themselves? They didn’t start that way. They became that way. They became that way through trial and error, through mistakes and missteps, through moments of doubt followed by tiny acts of bravery.
They became that way because at some point, maybe after years of feeling small, invisible, or unworthy, they decided to stop waiting for confidence to magically appear… and they went out and built it themselves.
And friend — you can too. Not because you’ll ever feel 100% ready. But because you’ll be willing to show up anyway.
Confidence isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being persistent. It’s about showing up scared... until one day, you’re not quite as scared anymore. It’s about doing it messy... until one day, you do it with grace. It’s about trying, failing, learning, and rising again. Over and over and over.
That’s how confidence is born. That’s how confidence is built. And you, beautiful soul, are more capable of building it than you’ve ever imagined.
Ready to begin?
Where We Get It Twisted About Confidence
Most of us were fed a lie growing up.
We were told: Confidence is loud. Confidence is fearless. Confidence is charisma on command.
But real confidence? It’s quieter than that. It’s steadier. It doesn’t need to shout to be heard.
Real confidence says:
- “I trust myself even when I’m nervous.”
- “I know I can figure things out.”
- “I don’t have to know everything to take action.”
Confidence isn’t about being fearless — it’s about being willing.
Willing to show up before you feel ready. Willing to try without a guarantee. Willing to risk failure in pursuit of growth.
Confidence is a Muscle — Not a Magic Trick
Think of confidence like a muscle. The more you use it, the stronger it gets. The catch? You don’t get strong by reading about push-ups. You get strong by doing them.
Confidence works the same way.
You don’t become a confident speaker by reading a book on communication — you become one by fumbling through your first awkward speech.
You don’t become confident in setting boundaries by journaling about it (though that helps) — you become confident by actually saying the hard words out loud.
You don’t become confident in love by waiting until you’re “healed” — you become confident by loving, messing up, learning, and loving again.
Confidence is built in the doing. Not the waiting.
Why We Struggle to Build Confidence
Let’s name the things that get in the way of building confidence:
- Perfectionism — “I’ll wait until I’m really good at this to try.”
- Fear of Judgment — “What will people think?”
- Comparison — “They’re so much better than me, why bother?”
- Past Failures — “Remember the last time I tried and embarrassed myself?”
- Inner Critic — “Who do you think you are?”
Sound familiar?
These are confidence killers. Not because they’re true, but because we believe them. Believing these lies keeps us stuck in the waiting room of life — waiting to feel ready, waiting to feel worthy, waiting to feel different.
Spoiler alert: You won’t feel ready. You’ll feel brave.
There’s a difference.
The Truth About Confident People
Here’s what confident people have learned that changed everything for them:
- Confidence is a byproduct of action.
- Courage comes before confidence — not the other way around.
- They feel fear and move forward.
- They fail... a lot.
- They don’t attach their worth to the outcome.
They’ve simply practiced being uncomfortable more times than you have.
That’s it. That’s the secret.
How to Start Building Confidence (Right Now)
Okay, so how do you actually build this elusive thing called confidence? Let’s get practical.
1. Keep Promises to Yourself
Confidence is self-trust in action.
Every time you say, “I’ll do this” — and then actually do it — you send a powerful message to your brain: I am someone who follows through.
Start small:
- Drink that glass of water.
- Go for that 10-minute walk.
- Write that journal entry.
Tiny wins build massive trust.
2. Reframe Failure as Feedback
Confidence doesn’t come from getting it right all the time. It comes from surviving the times you got it wrong.
Change the question from: "Did I succeed?" to "What did I learn?"
Growth over perfection, always.
3. Get Uncomfortable on Purpose
Stretch your comfort zone daily.
Try things that make you a little nervous:
- Speak up in the meeting.
- Ask the question.
- Post the video.
- Set the boundary.
- Apply for the role.
Discomfort is the training ground for confidence.
4. Stop Waiting for Permission
Newsflash: No one is coming to anoint you as “ready.”
You don’t need permission to:
- Take up space.
- Be seen.
- Share your story.
- Chase your dream.
Give yourself permission.
5. Celebrate Progress, Not Perfection
Progress is proof.
Document your wins — big and small:
- Journal them.
- Voice note them.
- Screenshot them.
Remind yourself: Look how far I’ve come.
Journaling Prompts for Confidence Building
A love letter to your future self — written one honest page at a time.
Here’s the beautiful thing about journaling — it’s a mirror. Not the kind that shows you your messy hair or tired eyes, but the kind that shows you who you really are underneath the doubt, fear, and noise.
Journaling isn’t just about writing your thoughts down, it’s about meeting yourself on the page.
It’s where your inner critic gets quiet... and your inner wisdom speaks up.
It’s where you begin to challenge old stories... and write new ones.
It’s where confidence doesn’t just grow — it awakens.
These prompts aren’t here to “fix” you (spoiler: you aren’t broken). They’re here to remind you of your power — to hold space for your growth, your courage, and your voice.
Grab your journal, light a candle, pour a cup of tea... and let’s get honest, gentle, and wildly brave together.
1. What is one thing I’m proud of myself for recently? Why?
Confidence blooms when we pause to honor our wins — big and small.
Maybe you survived a hard day. Maybe you spoke up for yourself. Maybe you simply got out of bed when everything felt heavy. Whatever it is — name it. Own it. Be wildly proud of it.
This is how you remind yourself: I am doing better than I think.
2. When have I been brave, even when I didn’t feel confident?
Bravery doesn’t mean you weren’t scared — it means you acted anyway.
Reflect on the moments you doubted yourself... but still showed up.
- What helped you push through?
- What did you learn about yourself in that moment?
Confidence isn’t built in perfect conditions — it’s built in real life.
3. What story am I telling myself about why I’m not ready? Is it true?
Oof. This one might sting a little — but it’s powerful.
We all have a story we tell ourselves about why we can’t start yet.
- I’m not smart enough.
- I’m too old.
- I don’t know enough.
- People like me don’t do things like that.
Get curious (not judgmental). What’s your story? Then ask yourself the most important follow-up question: Is it actually true? Or... is it just a story you’ve outgrown?
4. What would I do if I trusted myself completely?
Whew. Let your imagination play here.
- If you trusted your voice, your choices, and your intuition 100%... what would change?
- How would you move differently in the world?
- What decisions would you make?
- Who would you stop waiting for permission from?
This question opens the door to possibility. And that’s where confidence loves to live.
5. What small action can I take today to honor my future self?
Confidence isn’t built in grand gestures — it’s built in daily choices.
Ask yourself:
- What would the most confident version of me do today?
What does my future self need from me right now? - How can I love her, protect her, or set her up for success?
Then do that one small thing — with love, intention, and pride.
Confidence doesn’t land in your lap like magic. It grows quietly, in the honest moments you spend with yourself. It expands — every time you give your truth a voice. It strengthens — every time you show up, even in uncertainty.
Take your time with these prompts. Be gentle. Be real. There’s no right or wrong here. There’s only you — becoming, and that, my friend, is where confidence is born.
One word. One page. One brave step at a time.